Map - The Forest
Map
It didn't make much sense. The paths all seemed well blazed, well traveled by beast or man it didn't matter. What mattered was that there were trails to be followed and not a one of them led anywhere, not even the one he'd come down before finding this clearing. His attempts to map out his surroundings and find some semblance of order had thus far failed. Because every time he picked a path it would, unfailingly, wind and twist it's way without a single branching turn or fork back to the entrance of the clearing he had originally come through.
But it wasn't like he was missing the turns out in the forest, they simply were not there. Every path led here and so his map looked like a very poorly drawn spider with all his legs glued together where they all seemed to converge into the same spot without ever crossing.
Trying to retrace his steps back to the clearing he'd originally woken up in wasn't helpful either. It seemed even entering the path he'd come in on he ended up coming out of that same path.
"AAAHHHHHH" he screamed ripping his poorly drawn map to shreds and flopping onto his back to stare at the light filtering through the leaves. He laid there a long while with only the sounds of the rustling branches to keep him company. Which was partially why it was so surprising to open his eyes and see a face staring down at him. "Fuckin' What!?" he yelled rolling and leaping to his feet. Which he wasn't particularly good at so he just ended up overcorrecting and landing on his ass again.
The face, as it so happened, was attached to a body. The body matched the face in the way only bodies and faces can do when they seem to be carved out of a material comprised of pure tropes and overused archetypes. The face was wearing a grin that was half hidden by the oversized stache and mutton chops, both a deep auburn that crept up to meet the brim of what must have, at one point in time, been a hat before someone with very strange opinions on what hats should and shouldn't look like got ahold of it. The body was portly, almost comically so and sporting a hefty backpack. The bag was overflowing with papers and tools of every sort.
"My dear boy i didn't mean to frighten you!" Said the face. "I merely was passing by the area and heard a lot of screaming and crying-"
"I wasn't crying" said our protagonist.
"Hrm... Well whether or not it was you it was very.... manly crying."
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it. But regardless I came to see what all the ruckus was about."
"Well the last thing I remember was going to a job interview."
"Mhmmmm-mmmmm" Said the face as the body poured a cup of tea and handed it to our protagonist before pulling out another porcelain cup.
"And then I woke up in this spooky ass forest. And walked to this clearing. And I've been walking around in circles for hours and I don't know what to do!" The protagonist took a long sip of his tea. It tasted vaguely of pine and... paper? He looked down to see the cup was simply a stew of water and rough scraps of paper. He sighed. "You wouldn't happen to know how to get out of this place? How to map it out?"
"A-huhfuhuhfuffu well my dear boy I have the most excellent news for you! I happen to be a cartographer by trade! Mapping out these uhhh 'Spooky ASS' woods as you would put it, is my bread and butter!" He placed his tea on a nearby boulder and bowed lower than a man of his size has any right to be able to do. "Sir Professor Christopher Archibald Thatius Reginald Baxby Withersons XVXIIV (The 18th) Esquire at your service. Though my friends call me Professor Christopher Archibald Thatius Reginald Baxby Withersons XVXIIV." Sir Professor Christopher Archibald Thatius Reginald Baxby Withersons XVXIIV (The 18th) Esquire winked conspiratorially at this as he doffed his extremely large pack and began rummaging through it's contents. "Why back in my day, not a soul knew how to navigate these woodland trails. But I happen to be the maker and purveyor of the highest quality maps this side of New Log City."
"N-new log city?"
"Don't mind my ramblings lad now here take a look at this beauty! Top of the line and guaranteed to get your from good ol'point A to sunny sweet point B, and for the adventurous adventurer you might even stumble into point C you sly dog you. A-huhuhfufufufufhu" He handed the protagonist a rolled up parchment with carefully written calligraphy and path routes. It was beautiful and... laminated? Where did he... Not important. The protagonist studied the map...
On the map were two circles surrounded by trees and connected with a very thin line. One circle said "Here" and the other said "There".
"I don't think this map will be much use to me. As I don't know where here is nor there. And even so every path here just leads to... well here."
"ah yes but that is because you're trying to make the forest fit a form. The forest doesn't like to be one way or the other. And it won't always do what you ask. But if you've need to get from one place to another it'll take you there. Just be wary that the path is not always safe or short." He chuckled at this. "And if you don't know where to go all you have to do is know where you ARE and start walking. The Forest will take you where you need whether you know it or not."
"But I must be on my way, just remember my boy. You've just got to know where you are before you can know where you'll go." And with that Sir Professor Christopher Archibald Thatius Reginald Baxby Withersons XVXIIV (The 18th) Esquire walked down a path leaving only questions in his wake... and several large scraps of paper that seemed to jettison themselves from his pack every time he re-adjusted his pack.
Our protagonist sat for a long while absent mindedly sipping on paper tea before he stood up. Placed his cup on a boulder. And, map in hand, walked down the path that seemed right. He never saw that clearing again.